Breaking Up (With a Friend) Is Hard to Do

     Well hello we meet again, I am very pleased to write this article. You know why? Yes, this post be my last post for english assignment. This is good news for me and my friends. This reduces the burden of my duties, and also reminds me that a test is imminent. This time we will discuss about a fight between teenagers. Well, no doubt when the fight is one thing which is common among teenagers.

     Remember when Paris Hilton, 29, and Nicole Richie, also 29, were best friends forever? After a mysterious dispute, Hilton said, "Nicole knows what she did, and that's all I'm ever going to say about it." And Richie (now the mother of two) told Vanity Fair, 'When I got out of rehab, I had to figure out what path to go down, and part of that included taking certain people out of my life. I just decided I didn't want to be her (Hilton's) friend anymore. We're just two completely different people; we don't have that much in common."

     Fortunately for their health, Hilton and Richie have other friends. People with strong social relationships are less likely to die early than people without them. Earlier this year, researchers at Brigham Young University looked at 148 studies covering more than 308,000 people and said a lack of relationships was equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

With the publication of The Twisted Sisterhood: Unraveling the Dark Legacy of Female Friendships, women are talking more openly about harmful same-sex relationships. In the book, author Kelly Valen (who felt her sorority sisters failed to support her after a rape) talks about how women can avoid hurting each other.

     Here's how you can prevent — and treat — friendship failures.

Preventing breakups:

Don't keep score. In all relationships, it's impossible for the give and take to always be 50-50.

Hang out with people who help you be your best self. Who wants to be with someone who's always complaining or putting down other people? 

Consider gender differences. "Women share things emotionally, and they want loyalty and trust," says psychologist Nancy Kalish, author of Lost & Found Lovers. "Teen boys and men have friends very often that they do things with. 'You're my friend because we play basketball together.'"

Realize that some relationships simply aren't forever. "There are friendships that are meant to be lifelong friendships," says Kalish. "There are some friendships that are, like anything else in life, situational. You're both going through a divorce, and you commiserate, then one gets remarried and doesn't have much in common with the other one any more. It's not really personal."

Build relationships with many people. Make sure your kids don't put all their eggs in one basket. "Make sure they have more than one friend and more than one friend group," says Dr. Michelle Barratt, professor of pediatrics at the University of Texas Medical School at Houston, a former member of the American Academy of Pediatrics' committee on adolescence - and the mother of five kids (ages 9, 16, 17, 20 and 22). "If they're dropped by the soccer kids, they can still hang out with the Girl Scouts." (This advice holds true for guys and girls of all ages, including you.)

Don't hook up with a friend's beau. Friends Denise Richards, 39, and Heather Locklear, 50, split up after Richards (a former "Bond" girl) took up with Locklear's now ex-husband, Bon Jovi musician Richie Sambora, 52.

Think about what's going on in friends' lives. New moms and grandmoms can't chat for two hours the way they may have been able to in the past. The same holds true for friends who've just headed off to college or landed new demanding jobs. "People have different paths," says psychologist Marcella Bakur Weiner. "Your needs may change." But perhaps you can still be friends on some level, she says.

Handling breakups: 

Don't be a victim. Teen girls, in particular, can be "brutal," says Kalish. They may, for example, deliver an anonymous note to your daughter to "find new friends to sit with at lunch," she says. Her advice: "confront the evildoers." Your daughter can say, "'OK, I'm not going to sit with you any more. But I would like to know who wrote this,'" says Kalish. "You're not being the victim."

Be aware that someone may take offense when it wasn't intended. Kalish heard from an old friend who wanted "closure" on a long ago incident that she couldn't even remember. She wrote the friend a "gracious note." Kalish's take on it: "I'll take your word for it. I was the best friend I could be then."

Accept that breakups are common. "This is an everyday occurrence in the lives of junior high girls," says Barratt.

Talk in person to the friend in question. Explain to your daughter that she should avoid using Facebook messages or email to discuss sensitive issues. You could offer to take her and her friend on an outing — perhaps to a nail salon, says Barratt. "Do something that's an in-person experience to try to build the relationship back up." She suggests a "neutral location" rather than one girl's house.

Avoid assigning blame. Instead, look back and figure out what you can learn from an incident. "Where did this really start?" says clinical psychologist Thomas Merrill. Perhaps a friend was "too jealous" and didn't want to share you with other friends, says Bobbie Merrill, a clinical social worker who is married to Merrill.

Figure out the cause. "Explore it in a way that is not antagonistic," says Weiner. "You can say something like, 'We've been friends for such a long time. It kind of breaks my heart you want to do this.'" Explain that understanding what happened will help you. "If you realize the two of you are on different planets, you can say, 'it's a good thing we can talk about it,'" she says. Then you can say you hope the two of you can work out the problem. After all, even Hilton and Richie now appear cordial in public.

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5 Things Which European Teenagers Hate

     Hello guys, we meet again. Do not get bored reading my writings. Well this is the last 2 weeks before my blog assignment is completed. Precisely next week, this blog will finish the task. Well since I'll soon be facing exams. Well this week we will continue to discuss the European youth. This time we will discuss what things are generally disliked and even hated by European youth. These are some examples of what is hated. 

1. Themselves

     Teenagers spend a lot of their adolescence hating on things, but nothing’s comparable to the hate they have for themselves. In fact, not to get all “psych 101″ on you, but their self-loathing is a big reason why they’re so down on everything and everyone. If you can’t handle looking in the mirror without wanting to smash it in a billion pieces, how can you expect to be a good friend or a nice person? You can’t. As you get older, some people hang on to the self-loathing they acquired in their teen years and it becomes their “thing”. Yes, hating yourself can be a “thing” just look at most comedians or the music genre “Emo” but most people grow out of it and learn to give themselves long pats on the back and hugs. The final test is going to the movies alone on a Thursday afternoon. That’s when you know your self-love is for real.

2. Their friends

     In every social group in high school, there’s always that one friend who everyone hates. It’s a role you have to fill—The Hated Friend—and auditions are held year-round. When you find The Hated Friend, you incorporate them in your social life, but only at a teasing distance. You complain to your “real” friends and ask, “Does The Hated Friend really have to go to the movies with us. He/she sucks!” and your friend will reply, “I know he/she is really the worst, but it’s in the contract we all signed, remember? The Hated Friend must come on one social outing a week so we’re given something to talk shit about for the next week.” The Hated Friend may or may not know the role they’ve been chosen to fulfill, but it doesn’t matter. Teenagers have a limitless tolerance for abuse and it beats sitting alone, right? Right.

3. Being bored

     Even though being a teenager can be full of life-altering exciting moments, it’s mostly just really boring. Besides writing a one-page Greek fairytale for Honors English and picking up a shift at Ben & Jerry’s, you don’t really have much to do. Your only job is to basically not completely lose your mind and end up dead. Since you probably don’t have your license and can’t go to clubs, the only thing teenagers can do is eat at Sam’s Taco Shack, walk around Burlington Coat Factory and go see a movie. You spend a lot of time walking places and that eats up most of your day. Maybe that’s why there was always so much drama in high school. You felt like you were living on The Real World and the boredom drove everyone insane. 1 asked question as a teenager? “There’s nothing to do. What do you want to do?”

4. Being a virgin

     Virginity is a shameful scarlet letter that most carry around during their teen years. It’s more stressful than college admission essays and certainly more embarrassing. When your friends start having sex before you, it can be a real nightmare because it’s all they’ll want to talk about. “Have you ever done it this way? I think it feels better and yesterday we also tried this thing where I put my tongue on his forehead and it felt so good!” Your other friend, the sex expert, will respond with, “That’s a good technique but I would suggest also trying it this way. I always come faster.”  Yup. You have sex once and suddenly you’re an authority on the pleasures of fornication. Meanwhile, the virgin sits in the corner sipping an iced mocha just praying for invisibility powers and after the two non-virgins finish their sex talk, they turn to you and give an empathetic smile, “Don’t worry, babe. You’re next!” If you’re lucky enough to have sex in high school, you’ll feel like you’re a part of an exclusive club; you’ll possess knowledge that separates you from virgins and it will make you feel special. In high school, sex itself is secondary. Saying you’re no longer a virgin is the real prize.

5. Being the same/different

     Teenagers hate conformity, but they’re also terrified of individuality. They spend seven years in awkward personal limbo, which I guess largely accounts for the poor outfit choices. Your thought process with clothes usually goes like this, “I want to wear this really cool t-shirt, but everyone is going to rip me a new asshole for it. Wait, screw them! I can wear what I want! Wait, but can I? Hmm…” You ping-pong for a little bit, until you ultimately decide to either wear the shirt and risk social suicide, or wear your typical ensemble and hate yourself a little bit more. Gee, being a teen is tough! You want to be "yourself", but you’re not actually sure what that is. Everything feels so ephemeral and your tastes change so quickly. You come to Christmas dinner in punk clothes talking about The Adicts and next year, you’re wearing an argyle sweater and into the whole singer/songwriter thing. You move through identities at a rapid pace until you finally settle into the real “you”—someone who adores singer/songwriters, but also likes to listen to punk music when they’re getting ready to go out.

     The things on top of that happening in Europe, maybe not all. Those things are just as informative only. Not to be emulated, because the information above in my opinion is less suited to the culture of the people of Indonesia. Indonesian culture is still holding its eastern culture.

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Study With Music

     Hello, we meet again. Earlier, today is the day "Good Friday". For those who celebrate Happy Good Friday. I am glad that these days, school holidays. Yeah but still, I have school work that must be done, one of them is this blog.

     Teenagers are still on the European Lifestyle, this time we will discuss about teenagers learning activities, many young people who complained when she was studying. Some say tired, bored, sleepy, and others. There are many ways to learn more pleasant. Such as making a mind map with pictures of interest, or learning, eating snacks, and more. Which will be discussed this time is to learn, accompanied by music.

Music serves many purposes but for many of us they are only regulated leisure or pleasure. When we want to let go and just have fun but music is much more than that. For years music has been used as to help and heal individuals both emotionally and mentally. It is that mental aspect that is so important because music equals brainpower. It enhances one’s ability to learn and process information more effectively and can help aid in the studying and retention process. So if you’re looking for some music to get you through midterms read on.  One such study supporting this evidence is the Mozart Effect.

     In his book, The Mozart Effect, author Dr. Campbell recommends the best study music is classical and Baroque music as it is at least 60 beats per minute which is conducive to the pace when studying. That genre of music is said to activitate both the right and left brain engaging both in the learning process that maximizes the potential and capability of memorization and recall.  However, a few musicologists disagree with Campbell’s view and say that the best study music that is conducive to studying is the music preference of the individual.

Choosing thet best study music is key in not letting it hinder your concentration in the learning process.  Whether the best study music is Classical, Pop, Rock, Jazz or whatever you choose, the best study music should be the type of music you enjoy and suits you best.  There are three ways to study to music and choosing the best study music.  The best study music for you should depend on the method you choose.  The first method to find the best study music is to engage learning and listening skills for comprehension. When using this type of method experts suggest the best study music to use is classical, Baroque, Techno or New age, ambient music.

Best Study Music – Classical

     Listening to music if you have problems with learning or comprehension the experts say classical is the way to go.  The first and probably most recognizable pieces that will relate and appeal to all ages is:

Johann Pachebel's "Cannon in D"

     The song is the most famous piece of music by German Baroque composer Johann Pachebel. Pachebel’s Cannon is a polyphonic piece that combines the techniques of cannon and ground bass although it was originally scored for three violins and basso continuo paired with a gigue in the same key.  The cannon is heard widely today most often at weddings during the processional but has been has its hand in modern music as well.  The cannon’s chord progression has been an influential part of the pop rock music scene the theme was used in songs such as the Beatles Lennon-McCartney tune “ In My life” where the theme was adapted to make it contemporary.

Ludwig Van Beethoven's "Fur Elise"

     The song written in 1810 is rumored to be a declaration of love to Beethoven's friend of the same name who he proposed to and was there on rejected by.  Translated the song is "For Elise" The piece is written in A minor and in 3/8 time making it conducive for studying. Interesting facts about the song include that version of the song we hear today is in fact an earlier version that was transcribed by Ludwig Nohl. Another version that was transcribed later includes drastic changes to the accompaniment.  Also another interesting and unknown fact is that the letters that spell Elise can be decoded as the first three notes of the piece due to it's music equivalents and harmonics.
 

"Habanera" an aria from George Bizet's opera Carmen 

     "Habanera" is perhaps one of the most famous and well-known arias in the opera category. The piece is from George Bizet's Opera Carmen and is sometimes referred to as "L'amour est un oiseau rebelle."("Love is a rebellious bird"). The piece is lively enough to keep you engaged and awake when you need both that jolt of excitement and expressiveness to keep up your studying into the wee hours of morning.

Andrea Boccelli "Vivo Per Lei" ( I live for Her)

     The song was featured on Boccelli's album Romanza and was performed as duet with singer Georgia. The song was orginally written by O.R.O in 1995 for their album Vivo Per. During that same year, the lyrics of the song were rewritten for Boccelli's duet with Georgia with the word Lei now symbolizing that Lei (her) in the title makes reference to the music itself as an entity rather than indivual as the obeject of affection like the original song intended.  The mutlilingual song was sung in Italian but has mixes with other lanuages as well in other versions. The sound does also somewhat represent the pop genre as well as the piano melody is reminiscent of an Elton John song.

Enya "Only Time"

     The Irish singer wrote this for her album A Day Without Rain in 2001. It’s Irish and celtic roots are evident in it’s beats and instrumentation. A little faster paced and mixed with chanting and haunting vocals this track became one of the signature songs that defined and explained how people felt after the 9/11 attacks. This song has a little something for everyone and is a great middle of the road pick to keep up the momentum and montonony of studying of studying.  Now that we have covered listening as a means of learning. In an aid to the task of studying yet being able to relax and have fun doing it come the next tracks.

Best Study Music – Pop

     The next two categories of people use music as a prerequistite to studying listening to it prior to engaging in the task or while they are concentrated in a heavy duty cram session to release some of the tension and pressure studying can sometime evoke. This is where the songs from the pop.genre become helpful because they are wide ranging in style, beat and timbre.  Also, listening to upbeat music is a great way to find some extra energy and can eliminate the boredom and montonoty of the task itself.  Listening to music before studying puts the listener in an alpha or theta state enabling them to better absorb the information because those type of brainwaves are known to engage the mind for greater openess.  Some of the tracks that aid in these parts of the process are  as follows.

Hole  "Malibu"

     "Malibu" by Hole has an upbeat pop rock feel co-written by Hole's lead singer and guitarist Courtney Love, guitartist Eric Erlandson and Smashing Pumpkins songwriter and frontman Billy Corgan.  The song's upbeat vibe is masked by it's sad backstory the song is based on Hole's husband's Kurt Cobain's stint in rehab shortly before killing himself in 1994. In contrast songs like "(2AM) Breathe" and "Need You Now" describe those long hours you’ve spent hitting the books and can’t see straight or have been looking at the same page for hours. It’s about the lonely and isolation that engages once again the concentration and solitary attitude some need to focus.

     "2AM Breathe" with lyrics like “2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?" resonate because many students are up till all hours of the night studying of till well 2 A.M.  Another song that describes a sense of loneliness and longing is “ Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum.

     “Need You Now”  shouts desperation and longing with lyrics like” It’s a quarter after one I’m all alone and I need you now. Said I wouldn’t call, but I’ve lost all control And I need you now”.  The song suggests just what the lyrics describe just what the lyrics suggest making that phone call in the dead of night longing to hear a voice on the other end of that line that will take away the loneliness and longing one feels to be close to another person in the moment.

     Songs like One Republic’s "Apologize" are different in that their just generally pleasant to listen to with a great pop sensibility, texture and sound the beat keeps you interested enough and engaged to keep listening the tune also is subtle so it doesn’t require active listening and can be used for background or “white” noise if studying in silence isn’t your thing.  Finally, there’s Fleetwood Mac’s “ Landslide”.

     "Landslide" was a song written by Fleetwood Mac’s lead singer Stevie Nicks wrote the song funny enough when she herself was contemplating going back to school or pursuing a music career with guitarist Lindsay Buckingham.  I think this song cinched her decision, the tune was written as Nicks was looking out at the rocky mountains and pondering the metaphorical “avalanche” that had come crashing down on her and the group which she described as a landslide hence the title of the song. The melody is simple and beautiful and it’s signature sound from a solo acoustic guitar and Nick’s raspy voice.

     In all, the options are endless although some experts note that in choosing music one should listen to instrumental pieces versus those that include vocals but in the end it’s all a matter of taste. From songs like Pachebel’s “Cannon” to Fleetwood Mac’s “ Landslide” music can have a wonderful technical precision or heart-wrenching beauty and tenderness that can make you lose yourself in.

     The best music to study to and learn by is the music you love and for some that could mean one genre or many. To find that out it’s best to vary the types of music you listen to from classical, to pop and jazz experimenting with all the different types available will help find the music that fits you best.

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